we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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