better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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