i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
These tits shall not be calmed
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