Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
