When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it's great music for shaving your balls
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
