Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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