I feel great
I just peed on a car
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
