You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
