are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
