I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
