i just had sex bonerless
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
