this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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