Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
