It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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