It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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