You made me cry and you don't even care
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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