Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I believe in your delicious
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
