Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
