We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
