dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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