So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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