we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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