omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
