Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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