I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
