And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
