Don't you send me to vm
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
