i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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