We're like a lot better than the average bears
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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