Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
