they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
