had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
