how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
