i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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