I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
