Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
