if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
