Yo dont text me then not text me
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
