She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
