You work out of a Hotel?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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