I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
