i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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