WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
