we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
