just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Randomize
