ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
3 2 1 whiskey
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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