she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
