I think i sorta joined a cult last night
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize