Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
