i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
