if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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