me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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