i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He did a backflip because drugs
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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