So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
