His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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