barbara walters just said penis...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
do herpes really smell.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
