You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
