Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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